Just a few hours from meeting the minimum requirement caused me my rank as a Cadet Inspector even though ive way overshot the required probation HQ hours.
Not that im complaining and making a whole lot of noise over what was taken away from me, it just tells me and reminds me of how the world really doesnt care much about your life.
especially in a modern society such as Singapore, its usually just all about making money.
Even though the reason may not be obvious and clear cut at times, but most of the time it will point back to that underlying meaning - to make money.
Money, if not looked at with the right perspective, makes you selfish, makes you greedy, makes you blind, makes you tempted to resort to underhand means to get it, etc etc.
Its not that i do not need money at all when im here on this Earth, its just that its not everything to me.
its scary when people put money as their top priority in their lives, and just looking at the growing modern society in Singapore, it just makes me uncertain and concerned of the values the generation after us will have.
but nvm about that digression now.

Wad causes part of my heartache currently would be losing my post as a CI even though ive been contributing and have been struggling for the 8 months of the year.
but also nvm abt the rank. What really mattered to me as a CI was the opportunity to reach out to the cadets, to teach them, to nurture them and to see the absolute fruits of your labour.
Apparantly ive been unable to do that since August. Academic pressure begins to accumulate and personal problems begin to take its toll on me.
Not that i simply became lazy and so decided to not get involved in NPCC-related activities, but its just because i cant, its very difficult for me to do so and i do not want to drag others down and hamper their efforts.
I cant take early leave from school to attend parades on Fridays because my Principal and Vice-Principals will never let me unless its HQ-related activities. And even if it is HQ-related programmes, they will only let me off if they do not find it a threat to my studies.

its frustrating at times, when im disallowed and unable to attend events that im supposed to and want to attend.
and it hurts, to have ppl judge you just simply because you are not there, when things really arent that simple.
just because the majority are doing it, it never meant that the minority had the same reasons for doing so and therefore have to be treated the way the majority are being treated.

I do agree to a certain extent that i do not deserve the rank as a CI due to my absence, but i would have to disagree if ive been stripped off of my rank because ive not been committed in helping in whatever way i can.

Right now i do not noe what to do. I dont even know if i should reply to the email Mr Song sent, just in case i will worsen the already bad situation.
But in any case, if i am truely dismissed from the Corps, i will humbly accept that fact (though it may hurt) , but i will still continue to contribute.
It may not be much, but at this point of time and state, its really the best that i can give.